The Walking Dead: What Would Walkers Put on Their Shopping Lists?

The shuffling, leaning, groaning, lurching, reaching, hungry walkers on The Walking Dead don’t really take care of themselves properly. They decay. They slobber. They have remnants of guts and blood all over them. They are driven only by their instinct to eat. But what if they could tend to their needs? What might they buy? I posed this question recently on our Twitter and Facebook pages and got some fun answers.

Chris Harrelson who is an actor who plays various walkers on the show gave this answer:

Many of the fans were concerned for the walkers’ hygiene and smell. Others thought about skin care and dental care. Jakob was concerned for the humans-or maybe the walkers feel guilty for these feasts-and suggested a cone, like for dogs, to keep them from biting! So let’s get to some of the items!

The Walking Dead – Season 2, Episode 13 – Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC /

Facebookers had some creative suggestions. Emily suggested some face cream and cosmetics. Samantha had a great list: skin moisturizer, tooth whitener, Visine eye drops, stain remover for their clothes, body spray, breath spray and appetite suppressants. I think appetite suppressants is one of the most clever and practical answers that I received. Libby said simply, brains in bulk! R.O. Iseedeadthings recommended that they look into Dr. Scholl’s products.

Voicesinmyhead addressed the question, “Do walkers poop?” by adding adult diapers to the shopping list! She also added bug spray, feeling for the walkers dealing with those pesky flies. Misty Waterfalls had a comprehensive list: sunscreen, Chapstick, sunglasses, hat, mirror, binoculars, freeze-dried foods, mess kits, water purifier tablets, nail clippers, moleskin, compass. rain gear, socks, extra shoes/clothes, backpacks, tents = They are essentially on one very long backpack journey in this world, after all. OH – and a jackknife for everyone.

Tweeters added deodorant, soap, sunscreen, mouthwash, Gatorade, Neosporin, Chapstick, Musclemilk, Duct tape, sore throat lozenges, cooking sauce, toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, breath mints, false teeth, gel insoles, aspirin, toothpicks , clothing, weapons, and black market human flesh.

@UndeadWalkingFS #Purell hand sanitizer and #MoistureCare moisturizing body lotion with aloe and Vit.E Why? #KindaObvious #Duh
— Johnny Rocket (@JRBDesignz) June 25, 2015

@UndeadWalkingFS Dr Scholls gel Foam soles (all that walking), lots of aspirin (for those bullet induced headaches).. and toothpicks
— Σ£ Çαz (@El_Caz) June 25, 2015

@UndeadWalkingFS muscle milk
— Michelle (@IamChellyL) June 24, 2015

@UndeadWalkingFS floss...those hairy humans can be a bitch to get out of your teeth.
— AndyLincoln's Finger (@Lincolns_Finger) June 24, 2015

@UndeadWalkingFS Duck tape to hold themselves together
— Lori Davis (@ldavisusa) June 24, 2015

@UndeadWalkingFS They gunna need to tooth brushes and toothpaste, can't allow the meat to stick between the teeth! XD
— ((Fitzy)) 🐍 (@TheFknLizrdKing) June 24, 2015

My Walking Dead Twitter Pal Tony decided that he would skip the merchandise and go straight for the customers! True walker thinking!

@UndeadWalkingFS I'd go shopping for some teenagers and old ppl. Teens for the kick & old folks cause they seem chewy, like jerky lol
— Tony Stewart (@digitmaxr) June 25, 2015

What items would you add to the shopping list if you were a walker? Help a walker out in the comments section!

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