How would parties be planned in The Walking Dead universe? Who is best suited for the cooking, decorating, and other party planning duties?
The holidays are upon us. And for the second year in a row, I enjoyed thinking about how a party would be executed in the current universe of The Walking Dead.
I like to take a look at each character’s strengths and determine how they can best contribute to the festivities.
The Walking Dead continues to give us great material season after season. So great that sometimes my tongue and cheek posts practically write themselves!
So let’s get started.
Maggie: Maggie will be parking cars. But for the safety of all vehicles, no tractors will be allowed on the premises.
Enid and Simon: This unlikely pair will actually team up for decorations. Enid has some festive balloons to contribute and Simon recently acquired a lovely painting. (Ouch, Gregory!)
Gregory: Speaking of Gregory, how about we ask him to bring some of his high end Scotch? Wait, that’s not going to happen.
Dwight: I would like to task Dwight with bringing some lovely finger sandwiches. But no dog food, please.
Negan: Negan will be in charge of the gift exchange. But keep an eye on him. The word on “Easy Street” is that Negan tends to take more than his fair share.
Gregory: Back to Gregory. Let’s go ahead and ask him to prepare the name tags. Wait, that’s not going to work either.
Father Gabriel: The good clergyman will be our pinch hitter for the evening. He will be at the ready to go get extra ice, dig an extra grave, whatever you might need in a pinch.
Jesus: Jesus will contribute to the evening’s entertainment, offering a mashup of interpretative dance and sweet ninja kicks accompanied by that choir from The Kingdom.
Sasha: Our resident sharpshooter will be in charge of cutlery. Girl knows how to sharpen a knife!
Carl: Carl will be in charge of party games — darts, tennis ball toss, and maybe even some bumper cars action. Heck, we might even do some roller skating if the weather is nice!
Gregory: Let’s give the ol’ chap another try. Gregory can work the coat check. Nope, he’s prone to lifting other people’s property. Pocket watches, wallets, and more would be at risk.
Spencer: Spencer, dear, you have one job. Just keep your mouth shut.
Rosita: Rosita will be tasked with party security. She is going to have that one bullet after all.
Rick: We better pair Rick with Rosita for security because we know Spencer is NOT going to keep his mouth shut!
Eugene: The mighty mullet man will take care of the music because he has a mighty fine portable music player in working order.
Gregory: Forget it! We are just going to stuff him in the closet during this event.
Daryl: Daryl will determine the dress code for the event. If I read his Morse code correctly, I believe he is blinking “monogrammed”, no, wait, “spray-painted” outfits for the occasion.
Michonne: Michonne will prepare sleeping accommodations for all of the overnight guests. I heard she found a bunch of mattresses along the road . . . oh, right, they’re no good. (Too soon?)
Carol: Sadly, Carol will be that reluctant guest who is always trying to make a sneaky exit.
Morgan: Well, of course, Morgan will play a Shepherd in the Nativity scene – he has the bo staff and all.
King Ezekiel: He’s such a great orator. He will welcome guests at the door imploring them to enjoy the party as guests who are “faithful, FESTIVE, and free!”
Jerry: Dude’s going to be the party jester – dueces! Enough said.
Shiva: Of course our favorite tiger will be on hand to make sure everyone is having a “roaring” good time! (Couldn’t help myself! Sorry, not sorry.)
I think that about covers it! Be sure to compare this year’s list to the 2015 installment.
Related Story: 2015 Holiday party rules for The Walking Dead universe
Let us know if you have any other characters from The Walking Dead or party planning duties to add to this list. Did you agree with these jobs for our characters? Please share your thoughts in the comments. And most definitely enjoy all the parties you are attending this holiday season!
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