Places You DON’T Want To Stay In A Zombie Apocalypse, Part II

In a zombie apocalypse, certain kinds of places make great shelters. Others…not so much. Consider me your travel agent on where NOT to stay when the dead rise.

Earlier this week, I provided a counterpoint to my colleague, Sarabeth Pollock’s, article on the virtues of staying in a stadium, arena, or ballpark in a zombie apocalypse. I enjoyed it so much, that I’ve decided to do another one! 

…Of course, this won’t be about any of those, but rather, other places that won’t be great shelters once zombies arrive.

I won’t make this a counterpoint article to Sarabeth’s latest discussion of the topic, because, well, they weren’t bad choices! And, you’ll agree with me once you compare them to what I have in store.

Malls

While some might argue otherwise, let me inform you here and now: Malls will make terrible sanctuaries in a zombie apocalypse.

Ever since George Romero’s masterpiece, Dawn Of The Dead, and its 2004 remake (Which helped reanimate zombies in the public consciousness), people have thought to go to malls in a zombie apocalypse.

…And what an awful idea that is.

I won’t go into too much detail here (If you want that, check out my book, The Rules: A Guide To Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse for more), but, let me ask you one question: IF you make your local mall a sanctuary, what do you do if the dead start surrounding it?

While in some major cities (Mostly older ones like Boston or Providence, which are fairly compact) malls are surrounded by other buildings you could possibly escape through if the worst happens, most malls aren’t like that. At all.

In fact, most malls are outside of major cities, surrounded by expansive parking lots. If you’re using the mall as a sanctuary, and, the undead begin surrounding it…what do you do?

While they’re spread out and not crowding the perimeter, sure, escape will be easy. But, once they’re huddled around the entrances and start numbering in the hundreds, you realize that your prize is actually an island; Alcatraz, surrounded by a sea of the dead.

While malls aren’t skyscrapers, jumping from the roof of one is not a terribly sound strategy. How far do you think you’ll be able to jump? Will you clear the herd surrounding the building? What if you break you leg or your foot hitting the ground…do you think you could escape? If you haven’t asked yourself these questions, maybe a mall isn’t the place for you in a zombie apocalypse.

Skyscrapers

Skyscrapers are just bad news in a zombie apocalypse. They just are.

Now, don’t get me wrong: If you’re in a city, being chased by zombies, and a skyscraper is the only shelter available to you, then fine, use it.

But, if you have any other options, TAKE THEM.

You see, skyscrapers have a lot of problems as shelters: They’re difficult to defend, they have the same problem with being surrounded as malls (Only, the fall will definitely kill you), and elevators? …Don’t even get me started on elevators.

But, perhaps the biggest problem with skyscrapers: Many have entrances surrounded by glass.

What does that matter? Well, it means that any zombies chasing you to the skyscraper can see you go in the skyscraper. In other words, they’ll know where you are, and then, surround the one floor which gives you access to your only means of escape!

Congratulations! …You’ve created a deathtrap.

Those are but a few of the utterly awful places you should avoid as best as possible in a zombie apocalypse. Know any more?  Tell me in the comments! Want to know more? Than pick up a copy of my book The Rules: A Guide To Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse! You can get it on Kindle here and on iTunes here!